When you're in a relationship for a long time there usually comes a time that you ask yourself "Am I still in love with the person that I am with?" and most people would agree that not all relationships continue to be steady once this question comes up.
If I was to answer the same question according to my opinion I'd say you love the person, but the feeling of being in-love may not be there anymore. I'm not a professional on any field that involves emotions and mental health so if you're looking for a sound idea from an opinionated person go ahead and read on.
Most of my married friends married their spouses for different reasons. Some say it's fate mainly because the first time they saw their mate they knew that this person is the one for me. For others it's simple because their mate complements everything they lack. Some would also say they are just compatible that they can't let this person slip away and that they are the best companion to spend a lifetime with. I'd say if I were to be married I'd do it for one reason, it makes me feel happy to wake up everyday beside that someone who reciprocates my love and is also my best buddy at the same time.
I've learned much from the past 3 years of being in a relationship and for those who are still single and are out dating, it is one roller coaster ride! I can't exagerate nor share less about it but I know one thing, to survive all the challenges both parties must learn what they call COMPROMISING... yes you read that right. :)
I remember one time during one of my out-of-town trips with my friends I asked them what they think about the word "COMPROMISE". Most of my friends, especially guy friends, answered that in a relationship this is the most sacrificial thing you can do for each other and that you'd end up hurting each other. There was only one person in the group who had a different opinion, making a compromise should not be defined as a sacrifice but rather as a sign that you understand each other. This is where two ways of making a compromise comes in.
In order to make a good agreement both parties should understand what they are getting in to. It's like weighing the PROs and CONs. You can't just agree to pick your girlfriend after office hours if you also have an appointment with your dentist at the same time you're picking her up. But if you're ditching the dentist appointment just to pick her up are you really sacrificing this because she'll be angry or are you sacrificing this because you know she was more important? And as a girlfriend, would you really be bratty and insist on it or would you really let him see the dentist because everyone needs to see the dentist once in a while? Makes sense?
How about this, you both know that one of you hates olives on their pizza. Would you care to pick out the olives from the pizza just to make them happy or are you going to let them eat the olives so that they'd learn to like that stuff?
No matter which side you take, as long as you're not happy with it you can't consider it as a good compromise. It's because you never let the other person hear you out. In order to make a good compromise you need to communicate your needs to your partner. On the other hand, you also need to understand your partner's needs. Relationship is built on trust but it can never work unless you both understand and listen to each other. It's not all love all the way but compromise and trust.
I still have much to learn with relationships but there's one thing I understand, you can never have a happy and fruitful relationship if you can't compromise with each other, give and take! It also isn't bad to give, but always remember that it is bad to always give. Know your limits and learn to compromise... make it work!
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