I have always believed that when you find that one person who can bring that extra sunlight and extra color to your life you should care for them as if they are your last, that when you choose this person to stay you have to do the extra effort of treating them as if they would stay for the same reason as you have. When loving someone you should never ask what they could do but rather what you could do for the relationship as if it's the last. After all the sad moments I've been through for the past few days I came to the point that I was asking myself if this belief was wrong... My instincts says no.
When great lovers fall apart because one chooses not to stay, the greates effort comes in. When you're willing to let that person go inspite of the fact that you've been together for so long and that you both know you can do more greater things together. It comes when one has the courage to say that he can't stay in a relationship because he does not feel the same way for their partner anymore. It comes when both of you realize what makes both of you happy.
I could not lie that love would always stay for that one heartbreaker basically because friendship was a part of the relationship. Through our greatest or even saddest moment we stood the test of time not as lovers but as friends who are both willing to care and to share our thoughts to each other. It's like losing your best friend and your lover at the same time and it did hurt so bad that I was lost. I actually still could not understand why things ended up this way, but to come and think of it, only God knows why.
It did hurt, but it does not hurt anymore. My tears are gone, my fears and sadness all washed away because when God took him away from my life I never felt alone... He took my hand. I just looked up to God, pray and listened. It may seem like a testimony only given during sunday service but I guess it really is true. Time may heal all wounds but only God can remove the scars. Pain may visit your life once in a while but it never stays there.
Where do I go from here? I really can't tell. But after his confession of what he feels and what he wants us to do I realized that there are millions of reasons to be happy even if he chose to walk away from me. I know my heart will soon be whole again after experiencing that heart-shattering moment and I know I'll be happier this time because I'll live my life one day at a time with God by my side. My dreams won't change, my principles won't change, but by the time my sun is at a 100% im sure im more than who I am and who I was before everything happened. If he comes back, no one knows... but I hope that if he does come back, I'm already the person God wants me to be... not because I have to but because that is the only thing that will make me whole again. :)
I still believe that when love comes around, you should always treat it as if it's your last because when the time comes he walks away you know that in your heart you did your best eventhough it was not enough to make him stay forever. I would always remember this as well, God will never leave me. He'll always take my hand and walk with me even when everything in my life walks away from me. :) My smile is pasted in my face, my heart has a smiley patch as well... and when the time is right God will remove all my scars and make me a better person than who I was when I was with you heartbreaker... too bad you won't see that. :p hehehehehe... But as it is said, I forgive you no matter how bad that offense was. God is forgiving so who am I to condemn you?
Welcome happiness and joy! Thank you Lord for walking with me one day at a time! :)
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