What Makes Me Smile?

I may not be in the right position or at the right moment to say this but many people tell me I don't really look like someone left me for someone else and I wondered... don't I really look like that? Here's a few more things they said:
> It does not seem to bother you as if nothing really happened.
> You talk about it as if it was several months ago.
> It didn't seem to bother you even if the odds were against you.
> It was unfair but you don't appear so bitter

My answer is simple... I have a great God.

My faith and my life was shaken, my heart was smashed into pieces and I actually felt pain and sorrow come to me as a tidal wave. It came during the time that I was ready to hold on to that one person. It came without warnings. It came with no reason visible to my point of view. I was  torn into pieces, broken. But I wasn't left there to bleed to death...my God was there to catch me.

As days passed, he taught me so much. Although I feel the pain is still here, scars and bruises not completely healed, my new heart is working well. It was like I had a transplant, with a few stages where my system was looking for the old one, but after all those it's beating now. It still hurts though, and only God can tell me if it's already healed. Until such time that everything in my life is going steady again, I'll try to learn to walk by faith. Living up not for the world but for the God who saved me from falling. I still miss him though, and sometimes I wish for a second chance. I know only God can give that, and only God can allow that. Because now, I don't want to cry anymore... my tears weren't enough to strip away my pain and I'll just end up a bitter bitch if i let my pain get the most of me. I know someday someone will make me his world and hold my hand until I meet God face to face. Until that time, I'll just do my best to walk in the light of God, hopefully never to be lost again.

I smile not because I found a new person to love, but I found my faith the best thing I have. I smile because I know God is guiding me through my life. I'll still receive a few more bruises along the way, but I know as long as God's there I shouldn't be lonely again. :)

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. -Psalm 32:10